For years, I wondered why it was so important to love our bodies, dress well, and take care of our appearances. I came to realise that these practices weren’t merely about vanity; they were connected to my identity, my confidence, and how God created me. Eventually, I recognised something even deeper: my self-perception doesn’t just impact me, it can influence those around me, especially my children.
As a mother, I knew I had to be intentional about how I looked at myself in the mirror, because little eyes were always watching. God had already impressed that truth on my heart. But somewhere along the line, I slipped.
I began making casual comments about my weight. Not because I was unhealthy, but because I had an ideal number in my head. If I went even one kilogram above that goal, I would say things like, “Oh, I need to get back down.” I didn’t realise my daughter was paying attention.
One day, I stepped on the scale, and she looked at me and said: “Mommy, you need to lose weight, abi?”
Her words pierced me. My heart sank. In that moment, I saw clearly that she had been watching me, listening to me, absorbing my words and behaviours. And it broke me, because I didn’t want her to walk the same painful road of body image struggles that I once did. This forced me to reflect on how body image struggles don’t just pass through genetics. They are passed down in our words, in our habits, and in the way we treat ourselves. Children inherit not just our features, but also our beliefs.
I sat down with my daughter and explained why I made those comments about my body. I shared my story of struggling with body image when I was younger—how it affected me, limited my experiences and how I am still learning to embrace the body God gave me. I emphasised that I am more than just a number on a scale, and so is she. That conversation was healing for both of us. It reminded me that breaking negative cycles requires intentional effort. It is fruitless when we tell our children they are beautiful, but they hear us criticising ourselves. The way we speak to ourselves may one day become the voice inside our heads.
This is how it is. This is how struggles with self-image and self-worth are passed down from one generation to the next, often without us even realising it. However, we also have the choice to pass down something different: self-acceptance, gratitude for our bodies, and the freedom to live beyond our appearance. Your healing is not just for you; it also benefits your children and the generations that follow.
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Featured Image by Cotton Bro for Pexels
