For 33 years, Samuel Lusunzi from Tshikombani in Nzhelele, Limpopo, was a devoted husband and father. But in 2021, his world shattered when he discovered that his wife had been unfaithful since 2018.
“When a person faces problems, like I did, those problems can feel so heavy that you might even think of ending your life or disappearing,” Lusunzi says.
It started during a school trip. His wife, a teacher, was on the bus with pupils and another teacher. Lusunzi was also there, serving as a member of the school governing body. But as the trip unfolded, he began noticing things that did not sit right.
“Whenever we arrived at the shops, everyone would act strangely. It was clear something was going on behind my back,” he recalls.
“I felt humiliated. My dignity was stripped away in front of my community and my children. I wanted revenge after the public disrespect; at one point, I even thought about ending their lives and my own,” Lusunzi tells Health-e News.
Dr Anele Siswana, a clinical psychologist and men’s mental health expert, says men’s mental health is a critical yet often overlooked aspect of overall well-being.
“Many men grapple with intense emotional pressures but feel societal expectations limit their ability to express vulnerability,” Siswana explains.
“Experiences such as marital betrayal, public humiliation, or perceived loss of dignity can trigger deep feelings of shame, anger, and despair, sometimes escalating to thoughts of self-harm or aggression, as seen in this case.”
Finding community
Lusunzi and his wife got divorced. To deal with the stress, he sought solace in daily prayers and the company of others to avoid being alone.
Then, earlier this year, a friend told Lusunzi about the Men’s Club, a new organisation that serves as a support group for men in the area. Through the meetings hosted by the group, he was able to share his story with other men who were in almost similar situations. That’s when he realised that he is not alone.
“When someone loses hope, they start thinking that no one cares. I now understand why some men end up taking their own lives after going through situations like mine, because no one listens,” says Lusunzi.
“The only people who truly helped me were those from the men’s club. They supported me a lot, and that’s why today I’m able to speak out. I’ve healed, truly.”
The Men’s Club was founded in March last year by Tshinyadzo Madou and Mulatedzi Ramaano, who run a similar organisation for women called Nzhelele Thohoyandou Women’s Support Group.
“Our main aim is to help men who are in crisis,” Madou says. “We have seen that many organisations focus on helping women and leave men behind, yet at the centre of many crises are men.”
Through its Man to Man Dialogues, the organisation offers monthly workshops on emotional intelligence, stress management and mental health awareness. It also connects men facing family, legal or financial hardships to professionals for counselling or legal aid.
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“One of the problems we’ve observed during our meetings is that when men grow old and don’t have money anymore, women tend to leave them. If they lose their jobs, we no longer value or respect them as men. That’s why many take their own lives when women cheat,” says Madou.
Community and peer support groups play a crucial role in plugging the gaps, especially in under-resourced areas where mental health services are practically non-existent.
“They provide safe, non-judgmental spaces where men can share experiences, process emotions, and receive guidance from peers who understand their struggles. Such networks foster accountability, reduce isolation, and can act as early intervention platforms for men at risk of emotional crises,” says Siswana.
Breaking gender norms
But for others, help comes too late. In October last year, tragedy struck the village of Tshivhilidulu near Siloam when the body of 61-year-old retired detective Ranwedzi Amos Nemutanzhela was found hanging from a tree at Makhavhani Mountain. Community members say Nemutanzhela had had a domestic dispute with his wife before travelling 25 kilometres to the Tshivhilidulu mountains, where he ended his life.
This tragedy echoes what Vhanna Kha Ri Ambe (Men, Let’s Talk) has been warning about the silent crisis of men’s mental health. Founded by Enos Magwabeni under the Wells of Revival Church, the group began as a faith-based response to gender-based violence. It has since evolved into a space for men to speak about depression, family breakdown and emotional pain.
“In many African cultures, men are expected to be strong, resilient and unemotional,” Magwabeni says. “This pressure often leads them to suppress their feelings, fearing that seeking help will be seen as weakness. The consequences are alarming. Studies show that men are less likely to seek therapy, yet they account for a higher percentage of suicides and substance abuse cases.”
Community and peer support groups serve as the first line of emotional support. But these are not a replacement for professional mental health care.
“Psychologists, psychiatrists, and other trained professionals are essential for diagnosing and treating severe mental health conditions,” says Siswana.
“Men benefit enormously from a combined approach: professional mental health services for clinical care, supplemented by strong community and peer support structures that provide everyday emotional scaffolding. Strengthening both dimensions is essential for preventing tragedies and promoting psychological resilience among men.” – Health-e News
