The Root Of The Problem

Online dating and social media have warped our perception of what matters in a partner. They’ve trained us to focus on unattainable beauty standards. 

We’re making snap judgments based on highly edited photos from one second of swiping. Dating is now this weird beauty pageant where personalities barely get a chance to shine.

This obsession with appearance causes guys to ruin their chances at finding real connections. 

Here’s what they’re doing wrong:

• They only swipe right on what they consider the “hottest” profiles, then wonder why they’re getting zero matches.
• They put beautiful women on a pedestal and become too intimidated to approach them in REAL life.
• They don’t approach more quote unquote “attainable” women because they’re so fixated on dating a perfect 10.
• They walk away from amazing women who actually care about them, just to chase someone who’s marginally more attractive but treats them like garbage.

But there’s a way to fix all this self-sabotage.

The Simple, Game-Changing Solution

Instead of getting caught up in rating how stunningly beautiful a woman is, try this: make it a simple yes or no question. 

• If she kissed you, would you kiss her back?
• If she put her hand on your thigh, would you feel turned on?
• If she was naked in your bed, would you have passionate sex with her?

Yes or No.

If your answer isn’t a hard no, give it a chance.

Why This Works: Attraction is Complex

Attraction goes way beyond just looks.

It’s about someone’s energy, their laugh, their intelligence, the way they carry themselves, how kind they are, their smile, their voice, their sense of humor, how playful they are, their sexuality.

All these things that cannot be captured in a photo.

I hate the number rating system. But, for the sake of example, if you have a good dynamic with a woman you meet in person – she instantly is two points higher in your eyes than if you just saw her “not perfect” picture.

And on the flip side, a “10” can drop to a zero real fast if her personality doesn’t align with yours.

Attraction Still Matters

Let me be super clear about something: I’m not telling you to date people you’re not attracted to. Physical attraction is really important.

If you don’t have that spark, it’s going to weigh on you, and it’ll eat away at the relationship. If you’re not attracted to each other, it’s not going to work out in the long run.

But here’s a harsh truth: that initial “OMG she’s so hot” feeling? It fades.

The Long-Term Reality And The Novelty Of Looks

I can’t tell you how many guys have finally met up with their “dream girl” only to realize she’s nothing like what they were looking for. It’s like they built up this whole fantasy about her appearance and the reality just couldn’t match up. 

And some men chase super attractive partners just to show off to their friends or get validation online.

The truth is that nobody actually cares about who your girlfriend is for more than like, two seconds.

In the end, you’re the one that actually has to live with that person.

I promise that you’ll never stay happy in a bad relationship just because your partner is gorgeous.

Are You Even Compatible?

Honestly, you wouldn’t even click with many of the women you’re putting on a pedestal.

I’m not throwing shade at attractive women. I don’t buy into the idea that being beautiful automatically makes you shallow.

But if you’re the kind of guy who loves deep conversations about philosophy, gaming, or science, yet you’re chasing Instagram influencers whose whole lives revolve around social media and maintaining their image…

Well, would you actually be compatible?

Do her values, hobbies, or interests even align with what you’d want in a partner? Would you even have anything to talk about at dinner? 

If you want a fulfilling relationship one day, these things matter.

Cast A Wider Net While Leveling Up

Now, if you’re watching this thinking, “But I want someone who’s beautiful inside AND out!” – I hear you. That’s totally valid.

But you need to understand these women are in high demand, and often have high standards themselves.

So here’s my advice: broaden your dating pool while continuing to better yourself.

You’ll date more women right now and gain valuable experience, and that’s only going to make you more confident and attractive overall.

Related Video

This article is based on my YouTube video here:

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