Have you ever wondered why a celebrity’s wedding somewhat comes as a surprise? Is it because they are not expected to get married or because, due to the demands of the celebrity life, they wouldn’t have time for love? The decision to get married is a tough one, and it requires a substantial amount of clarity for two people to decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together. For celebrities, especially music artists, the decision is often considered even tougher; why is that?
Another important question to ask is why marriage is sometimes considered a measure of success. To some extent, it can be considered an indicator of success, but why is it so? Does not getting married mean a successful man becomes unsuccessful? As much as we have people who strive to get married, we also have a healthy number of people who do not consider marriage a thing. Now, it doesn’t mean they do not believe in love; they just do not believe in the concept of marriage. They believe they can be committed without getting married.
In the third episode of the MENtality With Ebuka podcast, Ebuka Obi Uchendu and Banky W were joined by Johnny Drille and Alexander Ikemefuna. In this episode, all the men, except Alexander Ikemefuna, are married. This gives this episode a different arc because while the other three believe in marriage as a concept, it is something Alexander doesn’t entirely lean towards. He believes in love, but he mentions he has seen and known a lot not consider marriage an aspiration.
The episode opens with a vulnerable moment of Johnny Drille, narrating how being married doesn’t stop him from progressing in his music career or stopping his partner too. When asked why he decided to get married, he said, “I think at that point I was at a point in my life when I needed that partnership. I don’t think it was just enough to be dating someone that I loved,” despite not being financially ready.
The conversation then drifted towards the importance of marriage and how it is valued in society. To buttress this, Banky W said, “If marriage was the evidence that you’re a successful person, then Jesus Christ and Apostle Paul were failures because they were never married. I don’t think that marriage is an indication of success or purpose fulfilment.” Do you agree? Do you think being married doesn’t indicate success?
Despite his thoughts on the concept of marriage, Alexander Ikemefuna said, “If you’re able to commit at work, you should be able to commit at home,” explaining how commitment is the backbone of a relationship. And it is that lack of commitment that drives relationships sideways.
Just as Banky W said, “It is very possible for two good people to end up in a bad marriage.” Being a good person doesn’t hold a relationship together, but commitment, empathy and kindness.
One of the most important messages of this episode is how no one goes into a relationship fully formed. We all find different sides of ourselves in the relationship. Banky W aptly puts it, “[Marriage] is the best character-building institution that exists on earth.” While Johnny Drille harnesses the point that “Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially when two people who want to make it work come together to make it work.”
Have you watched this episode? What have you gained from it? What lessons did you derive from it? What are the things that this episode changed perspectives on?
If you haven’t watched it, watch it below.
