Photo Credit: Ayra Starr/Instagram
Ayra Starr is opening a new chapter, and she’s doing it in her own words. In her first Substack post, “I’m Not Scared, I Promise,” the singer writes from her almost-empty New York apartment, sharing what life feels like when the noise dies down and you’re left alone with your thoughts.
She describes New York with humour and honesty, calling it “a walk-in freezer with rent,” and writes about the kind of cold that makes you question your decisions. While many back home are deep into Detty December, Ayra finds herself in a quieter season, navigating distance, solitude, and the mental weight of always needing to prove herself.
“There’s a certain kind of despondent, fatigued feeling surrounding me, a lifetime spent proving myself,” she writes, capturing the exhaustion that can sit beneath success.
The essay also reflects on ambition and the pressure to be understood. Ayra shares advice from someone she admires: “No one is supposed to understand what you’re doing. If they understand immediately, try again.” It’s a line she returns to as she moves through the city, holding her jacket tighter against the cold.
By the end of the piece, she speaks about choosing not to limit herself to anyone’s expectations and allowing room to grow in different directions. “I will exist in multitudes. I will unfold endlessly,” she writes, repeating the phrase that anchors the essay: I’m not scared, I promise.
